If you know you’re relationship with food and your body is not where you want it to be AND you’re clear that the idea of dieting makes you want to stab yourself in the eyeballs (I mean where’s the cake in that right?!?!)

OR

You like the idea of sustainable weight loss without the dieting but that confuses or even terrifies you

then this podcast is very much worth your time and bandwidth.

Today’s guest Jane Talbot expertly explains the golden nuggets if we want to both Love our Bodies and Loose the Weight which just happens to be Jane’s Program starting in September (early bird price until 28th August). So enjoy the show and please do let me or Jane know any a-ha’s or your key takeaways.

You can learn all about the online program here 

Jane Talbot is an adventurer, author, theatre-maker, athlete and coach. Her work in the field of personal development spans more than 23 years. Passionate about health, community and adventure, her coaching programmes help people to experience the full joy of bold, authentic living.

Website janetalbot.com (coaching and adventure) Website janetalbotwriter.com (performance, writing, and creativity coaching) Facebook facebook.com/HumansResourced Twitter @IntrepidJane

Transcript.

Cara :  hello everybody. And hello, Jane. Welcome to the podcast. 

Jane: Hello. Thanks  so much. 

Cara:  Well, thank you so much for being here. And I just want to start, I’ve already said some of this in the introduction, but. I want to start off just reading out some of the posts that I saw about your next, your, you know, next,  adventure in work that made me laugh out loud and made me want to get you as a guest.

So it’s really, when you talked about  your program, love your body, lose the weight, and you talked about a people identify as an emotional eater. I’m just going to read your words cos they crack me up, and I’m going to tell people why. So,” if you identify as an emotional eater,chances are you’re feeling pretty stressed by all the current talks about healthy weight, about all the health risks they mentioned, and about Boris Johnson’s plans to stop you eating unhealthy foods and start getting you into shape.

Chances are you’ve actually turned to the “treat cupboard”, as a result of all that talk.  Chances are, you’ve actually put on some weight during lockdown because of the stress of the situation, but, and it’s a big but – my answer was “Yes Mine iis”!. And you’re also probably completely fed up of being held hostage by food and not having the healthy body that you want.

So there’s more to that, but that was the bit when I thought  I need Jane on my podcast, because you have such a fun approach to this. It can be a really, really well, it is a really, really tricky and sensitive subject. And. I recognize that when I read it and laugh so much, it’s because my unconscious mind was saying, get yourself on this program.

Um, and so that resonated with it at a certain level, but also because. That kind of fun approach that you have to everything or that sense of adventure that you bring to everything that I think is quite unique when we look at the relationship between our bodies and , our weight , but also the, so it’s the combination of that playful, adventurous combined with that real deep compassion that I feel that you have .You know, anybody that’s going through a tricky relationship with food and emotional eating.

So that’s why you’re here. And I’m really glad you said yes. So I would just wondered if you’d start off by talking a little bit about what you consider emotionally eating to be well, how to recognize yourself. This is a really big question. 

Jane: It’s a really interesting question because there might be people who are listening right now, who don’t even know why they eat at all.

So there are several layers to this. So from my perspective, emotional eating is,basically a part of you dealing with emotions that you don’t really want to deal with or feel by soothing you through food. So there might’ve been an experience you had in your life where you felt a feeling and you didn’t like it, and you didn’t have the strategies at that time to self sooth, or you may not have had the capacity to hold that emotion steady, to sit with it and learn from it.

And let it go. So when we don’t have any strategies, the unconscious mind say like, well, what is the best thing I can do here? And often in those situations for emotionally is the best thing was usually cake. That’s a good one. Pringles I can tell you for a fact that isn’t an excellent one. And sometimes, and I see this on Facebook a lot now, wine.

Cara :  Hmm,

Jane:  accepting that strategy. You consciously have this awareness that, Oh, it works. I feel better. I might not feel better forever but for the moment. I don’t have to feel the feeling that I was feeling, and this is temporarily worked  and it might be, then that you have a few more tricky situations in life where you still haven’t developed the strategy because you let

that unconscious part of yourself handle it. So your unconscious mind says, well look, here she goes again. And she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She doesn’t want to feel the feeling. So I’ll tell you what we’ll do, what we’ll give you four. Cause she seemed to quite like it. So boom cake Pringles. Wine.

And then the unconscious mind says, do you know what this seems to be working so well for her that we can handle those emotions before they even get on her conscious radar. So she will get the urge to have, cake or Pringles or wine and she wont have any inkling on why it’s happening but what  we’ll be doing is dealing with the emotion before it hits the fan

 and that is why some people will say, yeah, I can consciously, I’ve got a conscious awareness that there are some triggers where I just have this urge to like basically eat the whole house and that pattern generalizes out. So it’s not just like bad emotions. It gets to the point where like, you feel happy, you eat, you feel sad, you eat any emotion that appears on the radar will call for food.

And that be some people who genuinely can say. Do you know what  I don’t think I am an emotional eater. I just really just want to eat. And that’s not because they’re not an emotional eater. It’s because that pattern has become so brilliant that the strategy has become so well refined it does it without any conscious

mediation, any intervention whatsoever. And that’s for me, what emotional eating is. It’s not, it doesn’t have to be a permanent fixture, but you know, people are often hard on themselves because they say, well, why am I doing this? Well, they were doing it for a very good reason at the time. It’s usually because they didn’t have a more effective strategy.

And of course, as we get older, you know, we do learn that life. Isn’t completely perfect. And we have to develop strategies other than kind of, um, you know, head in the sand strategies and we do manage that. But if we’ve got a strategy that’s like ticking over and we actually have lost touch with what is real drive is all about.

Then the longer we leave it, the more automatic it becomes. And, you know, we can either jump in there and disconnect that strategic wiring and build something new in. And sometimes, actually the wiring will burn itself out naturally as we develop more responsibility for our own lives, some people naturally, if you like fuse their own systems, so some people will actually emerge from it intact.

So, right. So there’s a few things there. First of all, is what I, what I love about your point of view and have, since I met you, is how you see all parts of us as a friend, that’s trying to help us achieve a desired outcome rather than it’s something that we’re doing that’s bad behavior or negative behavior or something.

Um, but then also there was something about what you said towards the end about, um, How, if it can burn that patterning can, that wiring can burn itself out. If we, for example, want to take responsibility in a different way. So how do you see that as friendly? Compared to what the reaction we might be having because Boris Johnson, or if some of my listeners are outside the UK or some other authority is saying, “you need to take care of yourself so that you don’t get ill: – , there’s a, like a different voice there.

  Jane: the impact of the voice that generates the emotions that the pattern has to deal with. So if, so a lot of the rhetoric now will induce shame and I can even feel it now in myself. It’s a very, very powerful emotion. No one likes to feel shame. So, boom. It says like you better double the pringles man!!!

And know, there is no one on Earth who is, who is not comfortable with their weight, who doesn’t know everything there is to know about dieting. They  know the health risks. They know it all. So if someone says, Oh, you know, this is a health risk,that’s not new information. All that does is generate the shame.

And when I’m talking about burning the pattern out….. because human beings are really, really brilliant and very clever. So if they get one pattern and it works, it’ll generalize itself out. So that’s why,handle  one emotion handle a bad emotion with food, can generalize out to handle all emotions with food. Now that’s not particularly great. But if, if in another part ofyou’re liife you start

facing things head on or viewing your own behaviors in a different way, then that generalizes out. And that can often undermine old un-useful patterns. So there are lots of ways in, um, but my, I suppose my view is what I’m seeing right now. Cause obviously. Everybody who’s anybody who helps people to develop a healthier relationship with body and there food,

they’re saying, look, I can help you with this. Yeah. Some of the messages, like for me, it’s totally shocking. There’s one, right? Right now called,  ” kill the emotional eating demon” 

Cara: oh my God. 

Jane: Now as if that demon wasn’t something other than you, I’m asking like newsflash –  that’s you man, and that isn’t  a demon,

that’s a part of you that has been serving you in the best way it can for however long you’ve been running this pattern. That demon doesn’t need killing that demon needs thanking for what hes done and retiring into a nice reitrment home, somewhere in your body. Um, once that it understands you understand what it’s been trying to do for you, that’s not a demon at all and  and, um, 

 So if you said, gosh, you know, you got to whip yourself, into shape you’ve got, you know, you’ve got to work yourself to the bone,  these aren’t messages that part of you wants to hear. So that’s that dichotomy between wanting, knowing, and wanting to be a healthy weight. And then the rhetoric about us being hard on yourself, having self control.

“You just haven’t got enough self control”, but it’s not self control, there’s a part of you that is in control. It’s saying I’m  brilliant at running this pattern, and I’m going to do it because you know what, you’re not doing it. So I’ll do it for you”. So for me, it’s about stopping and relating to that part, that some people are calling a demon.

and say, well what is it you’re really trying to do thats actually, a really good thing. What’s your purpose in behaving in this way? And do you know? I think there might be some I can do for you that will satisfy  that purpose so that I could be free of that part of you thats running the pattern but I’m not going to push you away. That’s the problem. As soon as you start saying, there’s a  part of me, I don’t like this demon, you know, I dont want that. So you immediately set up a tension, there’s a lot of energy controlling that, keeping it away from you. You’re separating yourself from yourself. And part of the issue of not being able to, to respond to your appetite in a healthy  way is that you’re disconnected from the part of you that

knows when it’s hungry, knows when it’s full. You’re running a pattern of dissociation. So the last thing you want to do is say, you know, “you demon gout in my life,. It’s like,” Hey,I dont think you are a demon actually,  you’re a part of me that I kept at arm’s length for years. And it’s about time you came in from the cold and I nourished you  in the way you’ve been asking for, for all these years, I just like ignored because I’ve been too busy, eating the Pringles!!!”

Cara : that’s really genius. 

Jane: For me that’s the way to go. Its wholeness. Uh, it’s more resilient, um, it’s acceptance. And people say “oh self acceptance” and  this is not saying I’m fat. and  I’m okay with that. If you’re genuinely okay with that, that’s absolutely fine. But if you’re saying look, um, I really want to sort this out and  I know that there’s part of me doing this and I’m fed up of beating that part of me up.

Yeah. And you’ll find the part of you that has that appetie,  that appetite will change once you start relating to it in an adult way. I mean, you wouldn’t treat your children like it, you wouldn’t treat your coworkers like it, you wouldn’t treat your pet like it. So why do you treat yourself? Like it.

Cara:  I think the promise of the diet culture and where you can is like, you can get to your goal really quickly if you just pull yourself together. it’s that false promise of those fast results. I know what your big on is that sustainable practice that gives you a lon g lasting results.

Jane:  It made me smile there because you are literally pulling yourself together. You’re pulling all the parts of you and you’re saying like, you know, we’re now we’re a team, we’re acting like we’re a team and see all those rules and regulations? Well, there are rules and regulations inside your body that will run your system in a healthy way if you create conditions for that to happen. 

And if you’ll start laying on a whole new set of rules, like eat at this time or no carbs at that time or  you know, Keto only, or high intensity only. Um, then you’re, you’re layering in a whole new set of problems. So as far as I’m concerned, there are some like real, I think, healthy messages coming out from the likes, from unlikely sources, I think from the likes of Ross Edgley.

I know you are, I’m a bit of a fan of Ross  –  that’s the guy who wrote the book, The Worlds Fittest and he swam around Britain? .He talks about how, um, they’re now doing research to show that food interacts with our bodies in an individual way. If that is the case, then we have a responsibility or we have the opportunity to find things that work for us, like taking our time by experimenting and by working out what feels right for us. 

Rather than following these quick fix rules, rules in general, you know, so if it works for you, and it’s sustainable in the long term, and it’s good for your overall health and you feel okay and it doesn’t feel like a bind, but it feels like, you know, not reward, but it’s kind of like how you would treat your favorite pet, your dog.

You feed them, you look after them, it walks and because that’s what they love. Um, even so today’s lashing down with rain. Sparky is not a huge fan of the rain though he’s a huge fan of  walking.

Cara:

This is your dog that just in case people think they’re talking about your husband. 

Jane: Yeah. Well, yeah. Well that’s another show.

 So I know that he’s a terrier and he loves going out walking, but he doesn’t like the rain, but I encourage him out the door with a little tug to get him over the line. You have to do that for your own body to move.

 You know, your body is built to eat. So one of the problems  for many of this, these whole like, eat nothing before you exercise, especially if you’re a woman, you know, currently in her prime, like around the menopause, then that creates like a huge, um, stress inside the body. So you then generate cortisol, which will give you the old menopausal belly and, you know, can affect your metabolism.

So many of us don’t actually eat and often have to learn to eat up because of years of dieting, you know, um, downregulated our metabolism. So we have to take the time to say, look, I’ve been living in this house for whatever it is. 30, 40, 50 odd years. 

You know, I might have done a bit of DIY, a few new ones windows in, but do you know what?  I haven’t looked in the boiler. Oh, I’ve been live with this boiler. It’s on its last legs. I’ve not even opened the boiler cupboard, you know, I haven’t looked at the plumbing or all that kind of stuff. And can’t move house. That’s it. In this model, you cannot move house.

You’re staying in that house, whether you like it or not, so you might as well like it, make it efficient. You might as well make it comfortable, you might as well make it a place you really like to be, and stay-cationing for the foreseeable future.

Cara:  For anybody that’s been through the diet like cycle, the way that you’re describing feels like Nirvana and a miracle  and  probably to some people not possible. And also, um, which it clearly is, but I can imagine some people thinking is that even possible to have that relationship with food and my body to feel that much peace?  But also then the panic that comes up about. Letting go of all those rules. And the panic that induces.

And I think that’s primarily because diet teaches you to not trust your body. And the whole culture that we’re living in is you can notnot unleash your  body. You cannot be trusted with food. You cannot be trusted to moderate. You cannot be trusted. And I know the actual process of just, I was reading a study a while ago, where they taken a group of men that had never had a problem with eating at all.

Put them on a diet and then monitor them afterwards and they had huge issues with eating because just, that one act of one diet had created an obsession around food. 

Jane: Yes. Yeah. And I think there’s also something to do with our, you know, personality types of perfectionist, completer- finishes, um, people who like to follow rules and then, because it feels good that’s success.

If I do this, I’ll give myself a big tick. It’s like sports watches, sports watches. The good side of them is, you know, you get a tick. A four when you’ve done your 10,000 steps. And I, even though I’ve been physically active very long time, I’ve only recently started wearing a sports watch so that I can track for some of the training I’m doing.

I wasn’t even looking at this 10,000 steps. Um, and I do a lot, so like I would maybe cycle 35 miles and run 6 miles in a day and then decent weights. It’s quite a lot of steps and I was finind that for the cycling, cycling or swimming. it hardly gives you any ticks. And I was noticing that I wasn’t getting my tick and I was really getting anxious about getting a tick to say that I’d done 10,000 steps, even though I’ve done all this exercise.

Now the positive side of that is they know that these wearables actually get people to be active because people like to get the tech and the downside is if you’re an obsessive, you will go for the tech, no matter what it costs and you will keep going for the cost. So I think what you say abou  the rules, paradigm

it’s very hard to break out of a rule paradigm if you like rules. And even if it hasn’t worked for you because you get the hit from following the rules, not necessarily the outcome, but just to know that you followed the rules and if you lived in a paradigm, even if it hasn’t worked, you know how that operates.

Yeah. Step out of that paradigm or go beyond the boundary wall. So. You may have lived in a deighting paradigm for years and years, you might have operated in cycles and think you’ve stepped outside it. You haven’t stepped outside, you  just had a break from it, but you still got it on the back bubbling away on the back hob . 

And then the minute you think, Oh, you know, it’s like in a relationship. The minute you say I’m going to leave. What happens is the other half starts being nice, you know, Oh, I really love you. Don’t leave me. And then you say, Oh, I’m leaving. And then they get rough. Like they, maybe they get rough. And they say, right, you’re not leaving. They start banging the doors and it gets really, really uncomfortable.

And then you don’t know what to do. And that is you up against the boundary of your paradigm, the way you, so it does take, I agree, an act of courage to say, actually, I am breaking out. I’m going, I’m going beyond this particular boundary. I don’t know what’s on the other side, but what I do know is on the other side is everything that is not this.

So the solution is always on the other side of the boundary, how you’re living isn’t within that particular paradigm. And there is a leap of faith required, especially if you have to, um, rely on yourself. 

And I think that’s where any program that teaches you-  first of all that your body is a brilliant system.

So people say “I  can’t do this. Can’t do this. I don’t think I can do it.” I think, look, you’re sitting there right now. Guess what’s happening. You automatically breathing without thinking about it. Your Pineal gland is deciding how tired you should be, how near your bedtime is  it. Your hair is growing itself. By Itself without you even thinking about  ityour body is completely brilliant!

And you’re telling me. It doesn’t know when it’s hungry and it doesn’t know when he’s had enough. Well, it does. And it’s sending you signals all the time. You’re just out of touch with the signals. Now, as we get older, those signals do tend to get quiet anyway, but it is possible to get in touch with your natural rules.

Your body has its own system, which when it’s inbalance works perfectly, you may have been pushing it out balance for a couple of years by dieting or doing things that are not supportive of your, you know, your total ecology or total health, but it is possible. And you only see that when you’re willing to, you can’t have your foot in both camps.

That’s the problem.You can’t leave and be staying but many people we know from a relationship point of view, go back and forth for years and then finally saying that’s  it,I’m leavingAnd I did.And it’s the best thinkg I did but I had to learn how to be by myself. And then I had to learn how to make my own company. And this is, this is no different only that it  is simpler than you think.

 Epecially if, theemotional drive to eat has gone. So this is another way, way in, I suppose, is if there’s the emotional drivers gone. So you don’t want to sit there starving having this emotional starvation thinking, where are the Pringles, where are the Pringles?

It is honestly, I can speak from experience as a recovered emotional eater. It’s like, uh, you know, at night when the fridge goes on here, that allows the fridge. And for me, what happened for me, it’s like, literally I had like this internal fridge it’s vibration, which is like emotional pattern just went, boom.

What is that quietness inside? That’s the emotions gone. And then once that’s out of the way, you begin to hear the signals, you might have to experiment in the wild, but your hunger is completely different. So we know, for example, that emotional hunger has a role to it. It’s not there one minute and the next minute roar! you’re completely starving.

That’s not how physiological hunger works. Physiological hunger creeps up on you. So you you’re actually living in a completely different world. So you can’t compare one thing with the other. It just has to be you prepared to go there. And, that’s about readiness, you know? Are, you ready? 

Cara: That’s what I was going to ask you next.

Actually, I don’t know. I don’t know whether there is an answer to this question or what it is, but how will people know if they are ready to step out to take that leap of faith? Is there something that, you know, if people are listening to this and certain things are happening in their life, or they’ve got certain thoughts, is there anything that they could recognize?

It’s like, I, I think this is I’m ready to take the faith leap. 

Jane: Yeah. I mean, there are lots of ways of answering that question, but for me, I think one of the reasons that I’m running this program right now, now a lot of other people, people who work in my field are running, you know, their own versions of different programs is that emotional eating pattern will be in the room right now.  You’ll know yourself from  therapeutic work. One of  the issues you have is people will  have a problem or they might have a digital problem. So on off switch, so dieting, is usually a digital behavior. You’re either on the wagon or you’re off the wagon.

What will happen is the people will say, Oh, so I’ve decided I’m going to, um, go on this program, but I’m not going to go on it until I’ve been on a diet for a while, and I’m not going to go until I’ve lost four stone and then I’ll be ready to go. So they’re running the other half of the pattern. The piece of work with you, the good girl is in the room.

Not the demon, that’s been quite for a while, but she’s not gone. Not that part of you. So for me, if you are right in it! Like, you know, Pringles, Pringles all over the floor, cake coming out of the fridge, honestly, you know, stuffing in your face, having a frenzy. Feeling, you know, that you can’t even get, and there’ll be something in this situation now where they feel shamed and they feel like they can’t get the food in actually quick enough.

And the emotions are leaking out. Perfect timing, because you will be in the room with the part of you who is desperate to help you.

Cara:  Yeah, you really like you’re up close and personal. It’s really just, they’re waiting for your attention. That’s gorgeous. I like that. 

Jane: It’s presenting itsef for resolution, it’s the pattern is saying  do something and if you don’t do something, all I can do right now is eat. Cause that’s the only thing I know to do to soothe you, but there’s only so much I can eat and that’s what happens. So. People might say, well, I’m going to have to drink. I’m gonna have to smoke. I’m going to have to buy whatever it is. Um, and if you, if you’re at that point where you think, Oh yeah, I’ve just had enough physically.

And that’s how it got for me. This is hard work, maintaining my weight. I physically can’t eat any more. That’s when I thought right let’s  do this, you know, I knew that it was a part of me that was trying to do a good thing for me. And it’s no, so it’s not just that your appetite changes, it is also developing strategies then.

So at the moment, Um, if people haven’t developed strategies, other than eating, it’s almost like being a child. So we’re as if we’re a child we fall over. Um, we learned that, okay, if you fall over, you hurt yourself, but that pain does go away or you can put cream on it or worst case,  if you’ve broken your neck, you plaster it, but it will actually repair.

If you have never done anything other than eat, you don’t know what to do, whatever emotion comes up. So there’s two parts is one is like, yeah, let your system balance itself. Be still going to have emotions. I mean, the emotions aren’t going to go away. It’s like, okay, so you can have a feeling. Can yon um, develop the expansiveness, to contain that feeling to sit with that  feeling, to learn what the purpose of that feeling is to feel it, to let it go?

Can you develop other self soothing strategies? You know, how prepared are you to live life fully? I mean, cause that’s having all the emotions and if people say, Oh, you’re right, I just want to feel the good things I would like to be easy. And I’ll say, I want life. Well, mine, this is my philosophy. I want life to be life and I want to life it fully  and on the spectrum of all feelings, you know, I want to be resilient enough. And I mean that in a positive way, not only in being resilient, but Whoa, I’m going to feel these feelings because they are part of the richness of who I am as a person I’m being human. That’s how it is. 

I think the biggest thing for me recently has been like my son leaving home and like, he’s kind of been preparing for it, um, emotionally. Um, but you know, it’s like being open to the experience. I’m not going to close myself off, so I don’t feel the feelings, but actually yes, there was some sadness and it marked  you know, the move, it coincided, you know, with menopause and moving on to the next phase of my life.

But there was some beauty and some real, like, you know, I’ve grown a child and now that child is become a man and he’s like doing his own thing. And it’s a really brilliant thing and I can still feel the, the, the strings of motherhood. Like I still feel that connection. And the sadness that goes with time moving on, but yeah, that’s life

yeah. Yeah.

Cara:  And I suppose that leads me to another question for, I think certainly conversations that I’m having at the moment, certainly because of the, um, you know, the situation with COVID. that whole transition of perimenopause to menopause and then there’s the cultural.

Aspect of kind of almost like women should kind of give up at that point, like physically, physically, you know, with our physical bodies at that point, like things get harder. And, and then that combined with I’m hearing a lot of people kind of, um, a bit. Regretful about some of the choices that made and living an unlived  kind of life and, um, and, and dealing with that.

And I think what I’m noticing is there’s like a crossroads between, and people get to a decision point of. Um, I guess my name is right. Will any regrets or sadness that I’ve had about the past shows me what I want to embrace about the future and I’m going for it more. Um, there’s that element. And then there’s, I’m kind of wanting to catch the people that are kind of going well  the, is there any point and I might as well just give up and then say get all the Pringles out.

Jane: Yeah. Yeah. And I think, um, I, because I was very curious, I suppose, um, going through the veil, I suppose, because my mind is like, it is a Rite of passage and I suppose we’re very lucky. So I did make some decisions. About how  I wanted this part of my life to be, so I was very comfortable with myself before the menopause and I decided I’m going to be so comfortable with myself that I’m going to make some changes now.

So, um, I’m going to let my hair go gray. That was the first thing I didn’t want to signal actually, as I am getting older and I feel completely okay about getting older, I don’t wear makeup and I’ve never worn makeup. I thought I’m not going to hide the wrinkles. I’m just going to wait and see what happens.

And I was actually pleasantly surprised and I think it’s very, very individual. So I was very lucky. I didn’t have any hot flushes. Yeah, I didn’t put any weight on, um, in fact, a loss of weight. Um, and I think I probably had some menopausal rage, but my husband

that’s all wrong. He so wrong. Oh yeah. That was probably a bit of the old rage, but he was wrong. So for me, a lot of people talk about. This idea that once you go through that veil and for some people, it can be years going through it. So I had a hormone test just to check where I was, cause I just didn’t know.

Um, and there had been years since I’ve had a period where I had a coil fitted, you might not have periods and I test and they said, well, we can tell you you’re in the menopause now. And we can tell you that in a year from this , you’ll be through the other side, but we can’t tell you where in that year you are.

And that was about four years ago. So I’m definitely out of the other side. And so I think what I have noticed from the experience is that, um, People talk about being invisible and that it is different, I suppose, because I’m paying attention to people in a different way. I didn’t ever court male attention, but I would say I don’t give a damn now really don’t give a damn.

And what my hair looks like and more I look like I don’t care what they think and I’m completely comfortable. And I put all my energy into living and, you know, people say, Oh, 50 is .too late . Is the new 30, as far as I’m concerned, it’s like, Oh, you know, it really actually riles me when you see these programs for the over 50 and being marketed to by saga holidays, you know, um, some of the fittest, strongest women I know are in there, forties, fifties, and sixties.

So I took up power lifting. I’ve taken up triathlon, I’ve had a go at all these things you shouldn’t be able to do, or society says, Oh, you know, that’s going to be hard because you’re older, but you know, It’s about finding something that makes you feel alive, that is in alignment with who you are. And so for me, anything that’s adventurous, I’ll give a go.

I mean, they’re all some true physiological facts. And the truth is it’s a, when we go through the menopause and our hormonal environment changes. Um, muscle mass starts to decrease any form muscle mass starts to decrease, our metabolism reduces, which means is even if we eat the same amount of food, we will actually start to put weight.

Yeah. And when we don’t get the, um, Homeowner new protections that we did in the past. So it is true that, you know, if you, for  whatever reason, and I think if you want to be healthy, and in your later life  your body’s as strong as it tanks, that’s ideal. If you want to live a long and active life for me, that’s ideal.

And so I will. You know, people will talk about this ideal form and, you know, having the models, the models, body when you’re 50 or 60 or 70 or whatever. So for me, it’s not about the form, it’s about the function. So I want my body to do things for me. And because I wanted to do things for me, then I might exercise.

I might lift weights because I want to. So I want to get good at swimming. And so I’ll lift the weights or I’ll do pullups because that’ll make me ,that will help help my max and also crease my metabolism. So I eat 5,000 calories a day and weights and  because I’m doing a lot of aerobic exercises because I’m doing weights and you don’t really have to do very much, um, to get the results.

Function for me, it’s more important than form –  than a way you look but here’s the magic –  function proceeds form. If you start the behaviour because you  want to be healthy and support your body, you will get a six pack you fast, you know, it just appears. And if you fuel yourself for function, you will start to look different because the fuel, your body needs to do those particular things.

Unfortunately. News Flash. It’s not Pringles!. You start becoming hungry for different things, nutritionally speaking, because you’re hungry in the life for something new. And I haven’t met anybody who’s at this stage in their life who hasn’t got a hunger for thinking like I’m going to do things for me.

I wand whether it’s fitness, whether it’s my relationships, whether it’s my finances, whether it’s my whole life, I’m going to say right, this is me, literally being me. Look what happens when you truly are in touch with the whole of you demons and all. 

Cara: That’s brilliant. That’s brilliant. 

Jane: So that demon, you can put to work in new ways.

Like I’ve got the demon , in the water with me scaring off the other demons in the water. So  I posted about being worried about swimming in the water because I thought it was like full of like Krakens and  massive octopus, . They’re only out to sock me  and leave everybody else alive. Yeah.

When you call your own personal demon, I mean, you can use that scare off all the other demons in the water. 

Cara: See, and that’s what I love about you and your attitude towards adventure as well. Because we, we exchanged about that on Facebook this morning, didn’t we about the swimming and the fear. Um, and so I, I have the ocean right down the road and I go swimming and I was up to my waist in seaweed  accidentally the other day. 

Oh my God. Freaks me out. Bu I had to say “the underworld is safe,, the underworld is safe!”  But I do get scared by, um, the fact that we’ve got strong tides and currents. And so yeah, my head, I have the thought, Oh, because I have that fear. It’s not for me. Right. Yeah. And then you posted, like, I’ve seen and watched you transform your, you know, your different adventures that you’ve done and really inspiring.

And then you shared that you have that fear and then you’ve overcome it. Aw, damn. Yes. Just because I have the fearful thought doesnt mean to say I don’t belong there. I can do, you can talk yourself out of where you think you belong .

Jane: It’s that boundary, you bump up against the boundary and then you’re afraid you’re fearful of the fear.  But all you need to do, just keep bumping up against that boundary, bump up against it bump up. So keep going. in the sea and and you don’t even have to go all the way. You might just swim for five minutes. Yeah. And then what I found is like one day I  literally got  in the sea and I swam 2k.

And that was it. It was an incredible leap. I’d been swimming in the Lake and that’s not so bad, but there are lots of weeds in the Lake, but I got used to the weeds and how they felt on my body. And I’ve been swimming in a rock pool, and that was quite smart and also quite safe, but there were, see, we did that, but I hadn’t done this big leap into the sea.

Then I got in there. I thought, hang on a minute. That fear has gone. And the fear has gone it’s because I spent so much time in that area of fear. That is literally. Dissipated. And it’s not, there sould be respect for the sea. I think, you know, you’ve got to learn about riptides, how to swim out of how to recognize strong currents that you, you know, it’s, it’s still the sea, it’s a wild place,  you need a tow float, all that kind of stuff.  But you in the sea, it’s totally possible. 

Cara: Yeah, which is the unknown around stepping out of diets and into just a new relationship with food that you’ve just talked about. Clearly, you know, when the companionship of working with other people that are doing it at the same time and community is really, really important.

Jane: It is and that they know actually that if you do try to make change on your own, it’s much harder than making that change in a group it’s more likely to be sustainable and you’re more likely to relax into engaging with it because you’re seeing other people go there first. 

Cara: Yeah. And just like, we’ve talked, you know, you normalized my fear for me and  I have reached out to a community that I know do ocean swimming,and I’m waiting to hear back from them straight away. I could take action. and the other thing is just without going too much into my journey, that will bore everybody. Who’s listening to us, but even just listening to you, I’ve been able to recognize deeper what’s happening with my own relationship with, um, Exercise it’s been changing.

So a few years ago I dropped out of runnin and I dropped out of CrossFit. That was when he became a single parent. So time was like, Whoa. And it was like, my needs were the easiest ones to knock off the, to do list. Which I think women need to really pay attention to. That’s not okay. Um, but I didn’t even notice I was doing it at the time, but then I was also experiencing some adrenal fatigue and I was really struggling.

My body doing weights probably wasn’t the right thing for me. Yeah. I fell crap about just walking the shame came. Yeah. Because I’m used to like lifting weights and so, um, Like our bodies need things at different, different things at different times. And we need to listen to that, you know, like not just ignore that fear of, Oh, I’m really tired.

And I don’t know why, you know, pay attention to the body signals. But then also I went out, this was what got me really back into thinking about my relationship with exercise for fun is I was doing some rock climbing on the cliffs down at the bottom, and I couldn’t lift myself with the same confidence

that I knew was possibly my body. And I just thought, Oh no, I want to do something about that. So that’s that function thing that you were talking about rather than just how we look and being presentable and, yeah. So I suppose the final question before we let people know about where they can get into it through the you, but the final question I have for you is, um, What do you, what do you think that everybody’s body would want them to know?

 If it could speak, what do you think you might want them to know?

Jane:  I would say that your body is definitely sitting there right now. Or whatever you’re doing. And it is saying to you several things, not just one thing, first of all, it is saying, and this is a true fact. I am on your side. Even if it doesn’t look like that right now.

It’s also saying I’ve got top skills, man. And you dont, even you don’t even realize that. So the thing I was talking about, you know, regulating your breathing, you know, it’s got hormones, grelin like the growling hormone  lets you know, when you’re hungry and leptin that lets, you know, when you’re full, it’s got all the kit.

Its the top spec, you’re only using it, you’re only using the steering wheel. You’re not using the rest of the spec. Okay. It’s also saying I really, really want to be with you. Don’t push me away. Just let me back in and you know, let’s make this relationship work. And finally, uh, I am more brilliant than you could possibly,

you know, more brilliant than any set of diet rules or any diet guru, any diet book, more brilliant  than,all of that.

Cara: Wow And that’s just making me the thing that’s coming up in my mind is I’ve already got the Porsche, I just don’t  know it yet.

 Jane: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It’s all like going to antiques roadshow, I mean, bowl up there with your body and you think, Oh, it’s a complete banger.

And then they knocked it down a bit and they look at the, um, whatever it is, the vehicle registration. Yeah.

It’s worth millions. 

Cara :Okay. So, so I’m imagining  thatthe people that are just really, really enthusiastic about knowing more cause your program goes live just in a few weeks. 

Jane:  it’s on Saturday, the 12th of September. So the way I’m doing it, the first time I’m doing it via zoom and I’ve limited it to 20 places and that way.

People get the full attention, but there’s also space to sit back and learn from other people. And it’s going to be a one day intensive and then a 12 week followup. So there’s a private Facebook group for people to interact. And then once a week on a Thursday evening, there’s a live zoom call where we can catch up with each other, but also do a piece of work.

So if you, like you said, three months, program. So it actually finishes, um, the official finishes Friday, the 4th of December. 

Cara: Yeah. Right. So I just, all this in the, in the show notes, but I want to swing, sing this from the rooftops, because I think people are getting incredible value with the program that you’re offering.

And I speak like that from somebody who has been a participant and will be there. You know, if you’re going to join, I’ll see you in there if you’re listening. Um, but on the previous times when I’ve done work with you and Ben the workshop, I remember two things that really stand out to me, Jane. Right? So remember just experiencing this, we’ll have a workshop that you did and just this really.

Really good time that I had. Um, but then coming home and just feeling the most connected to my body I’d ever felt and was hearing new things, makes me fill up now thinking about it. And also the coaching session with me. And I was just like, I can’t wear shorts until I’ve got thin thighs. And then by the time we’d finished, I found myself at the school gates of all places with a pair of shorts on.

So like transformation, I’m just really excited. Um, and if there’s only 20 places, I would really encourage people to, you know, jump on really quickly. So I’ll pull all that in the show notes. Um, and that’s, I mean, I could talk to you about this stuff all day and we could just keep going and keep going and keep going.

But unless there’s anything else that you want to say, I think it’s a wrap for today. 

Jane: Yeah. So it’s, you know, we’ve more or less covered it. So, um, I’d like to suppose say about the program. It is very practical, so I’m like, you know, there’s a little bit of set up on the Saturday morning, but then we are going to be working through number of processes to, um, resolve the emotions that are at play.

Uh, when you’re hungry and then once those emotions have been resolved is to develop strategies, to live, to live life. Whether those emotions are present or not in, you know, with equilibrium and, um, being fully present and engaged. Yeah, so we get going straight away and there’s a group in the community and 12 week support.

And it’s not a diet. So there won’t be any like, eat this or dont eat that it’s not a diet. This is, this is, this is what’s driving your hunger, understanding what’s driving your hunger and, um, not to do with. Pringles. Yeah. Or inhaling pizzas, which is, yeah. All right. Well, thank you so, so much for doing this.

Yeah, you too. All right. Bye. For now.

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